i am suffering from the affliction known to everyone as “living”.

i don’t really know what’s happening to me. i’m only 17 years old, and yet, i feel like life around me is colored by a ‘jaded’ crayon.

so this is life? you go to school, find a decent job that pays loads of cash, eat, drink, sleep… and then what?

it’s not like anything new happens. i mean, maybe some things will look different, but it’s just in a different medium or a different form.

sure, i write stuff here that might look like i’m interested in. but, honestly, that’s just superficial.

life is looking like a big routine.

for some reason, i can’t explain it.

i’m bored with my life. i don’t feel enthusiastic about things or get excited about a prospect of something.

do i have some kind of psychological disorder?

maybe this is how some people feel when they decide to commit suicide.

i don’t know.

i won’t take my life, don’t worry. but i just don’t see the purpose of living anymore.

i don’t need “saving” or anything like that. i just feel sad that i realized how boring life really is this early. i can do a lot of things, but…

i just don’t see the point anymore.