oh yeah!!! suck it, first year!!!

i have survived the first ring of the 5-year hell of an AMF student.

YIPPEE!!!

just came home from the bluerep end of the year party, and before that i had my final defense for programming (where we didn’t technically finish the program). there are two things that i learned today: one, that i suck at billiards – argh!!! (that’s jaja in the picture, not me) and two, i am both sad and relieved that the final sem-requirement (the defense) is finished. sad because we didn’t get to finish it (nakakapanghinayang) and relieved because, obviously, my first year has officially ended.

of course, i live for two-week vacations, so move over regret, i have to make the most of it.

SOPHOMORE NA AKO!!! YEY!!!

it’s time for reflection.

1) mahirap talaga maghanap ng totoong kaibigan. entering college meant that my barkada and i had to walk separate ways. we talk and go out sometimes, but the daily chismisan or the hi’s and hello’s from someone you know that means what he/she is saying is totally different from the robotic and obvious-fake affection from strangers. i can’t even consider the fact that i made friends this year. not even my block. sure, we go out and we talk, but not like Flecci. i had my semi-family(hopefully enforced in the coming years) in ateneo in bluerep. and i’m greatful for them.

2) i am definitely not in highschool anymore. during the first semester, i hadn’t really felt like i left QueSci and moved on. there was the weekly talk with friends and, of course, the life back then was not college-serious. my block would hang out at least once a week, and the professors were like god-sent angels (except for math). for some reason, the start of the second semester felt a little off for me, and it went downhill from there ever since. when i was in QueSci, i could perfect a longtest without even studying for it, but now, i fail even when i study it religiously every night for a month. argh. is it the cause of the so-called “college freedom”? are we so liberated by it that we forget the fact that, technically, we are still students, and that we are also human? i guess this term is some sort of ego-feeding idea, that we feel glorious because we are in college and that we can do anything. it will wear of too, i guess, once you realize that.

3) i need to lose weight. i’m being vain here. and also wise. because i can’t wear the clothes that i want to wear. and some of the clothes that i have don’t fit anymore. so i have to buy clothes. but i don’t have money, and if i did, i wouldn’t want it to be spent on clothes, i’d rather just save them. so, i guess, in my case, vanity is important. and also an advantage.

4)i learned how to accept failure. FINALLY. i realized that i can’t always get what i want, even when i worked hard for it. destiny, perhaps, and sometimes stupidity. but you encounter these kinds of things for a reason. and i was also forced to look at the other side of things: like when i realized that i can’t get a B for math (it’s 6 units, man!), at least i can settle for C+, unlike others i know whose highest possible grade is a C. i know, schadenfraude, but i’ll take anything to comfort myself. nothing against to those people, but i’m a math major. i have priorities, and also my dignity.

5) i can do this. i can finish college and graduate with pride. the bluerep party was kind of like a graduation party too, what with some members, fresh from the graduation ceremony, wearing widewide grins and their ateneo medals around their necks, so proud of their accomplishment. i want to be like that when i graduate. in fact, i will be graduating twice (one for BS and then another for MS), so hopefully i would smile like them in the future. kind of like having a glimpse at my future. i just hope mine turns out well. =)

two weeks. argh. then summer classes. i only have 2 classes, Sociology&Anthropology and Psychology101, so it’s a light load. A-able. sana.

haha. so tired. didn’t drink that much, but my feet hurt! so there.